Hi friends!

I am officially back in Canada. I flew back to Toronto a few weeks ago and gave myself a week to get over jetlag and enjoy family time. So far, I’ve felt calm and a lot more relaxed but also a bit restless. A big reason why I came back to Canada was too work but also to focus on my health. I haven’t been feeling the best in the last few months, and it was time for me to take that seriously. When I left Antalya, I felt immensely ready. It was time to come home.

I woke up at 2 AM without an alarm. I was getting picked up at 3 AM by a taxi to head to the airport. My last taxi. Over the last year, I had spent probably hours in taxis. I’ve had good taxi drivers and the worst taxi drivers. Ones that truly believed they were the main star of a fast and furious film. Taxis with no seat belts and at times, dishonest taxi drivers. But here I was, at 4 AM, knowing that I would miss all of it. I had so much anxiety on my drive there. My heart pounding in my chest, questioning my choice of leaving. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t imagine my life without Turkey.

The impression Turkey made on me has forever changed me. I will crave falafel and hummus on a daily basis and wish I could spend hours drinking chai. I will miss the noise and the chaos of the city. The mosque prayer ringing loudly and the cats fighting. I will miss the random acts of kindness of the Turkish people and the willingness to help your fellow man. I will miss the expressions, and the way they become so animated when they are upset. I will miss the beauty of the women, who are fully covered, but their eyes shining through. I will miss the sea and the view of Istanbul from Galata Tower. I will miss the love and warmth of the friends. But this isn’t the end.

I strongly believe that when your heart is opened up to something that reaches a deeper part of your self, you will probably never forget the impact it made on you. That feeling will stay there forever. It will motivate you and remind you as the days go on, that it is there, waiting for you to act on it. The feeling of being involved in something much bigger than yourself. Seeing parts of the world that people rarely get access to. I never thought in my life, that I would have an understanding of Middle Eastern culture and actually love it. I never thought I’d be opening up my heart to Persians, and become curious about the Kurdish or the Afghanis. And in some way, actually find things in common. Like the deep need for family, and loyal love. An appreciation for food, dance, and joyous moments. The love of God, and the love of neighbour. It’s been a privilege to live that reality for a year.

Of course, not everything in life is perfect. And there were struggles. But if anything, they were valuable lessons that I will carry with me. I do hope, that I can find myself back in Istanbul one day soon. I hope I can explore that iconic city with friends and make more memories. I hope I can learn Persian and make an impact with those people. I look forward to the day when I get to watch the sky turn from bright blue to a deep Mediterranean orange and the mosque prayer rings loudly in my ear.

For now, I am home. And I’m going to soak it all in. I am so grateful for having such a great home.

All love,

Jaydia

PS: should I continue the blog? Let me know. 🙂